Rebirth Issue #3: The fuck is this isht???...

Ladies and Gents, Scallywags and Geezers...I present to you the 'Loop-In'...The world's 1,695,350,253,972 example that people have waaaay too much fucking time on their hands and rich people are suckers...Apparently this genius apparatus gives people the continuous sensation of surfing SLASH skating on, get this, THE PAVEMENT....WOO HOO!!...Sidewalk surfing FTW!!...I'm kidding of course, since I love surfing and seriously doubt any sidewalk in the world will compare to ripping a wave...Sayin...But hey, to each his own...This contraption is merely a concept for now...And I hope it stays that way...Grab a longboard and get to it!

.FIN

Le Billionaire Champagne: Exactly...

Are we really in a recession?...Oh wait, that's right, WE'RE in a recession...But Richie Rich is getting richer...Apparently...Or else they wouldn't be making $2.5 million bottles of champagne...Dressed in fur and diamonds - yes, a bottle of champagne dressed in fur and diamonds...This champagne, made by Leon Verres, is limited to an exclusive count of 5 bottles (Though miniature versions will be made available soon - at $2,750 a pop.)...Four of the 5 have been purchased by Billionaires from Russia, China and Dubai; with the fifth bottle being auctioned off for charity after its' 'World Tour'...Yes, you read that right...The damn bottle of champagne is going on a world tour...And that's your recession special...

I'm really not sure what they're trying to sell here, but I must say, I doubt anyone is thinking about champagne...

.FIN

Superbowl Commerical: Careerbuilder.com (2009)...

I cried laughing for the first time in my life...And yes, as a matter of fact I HAVE fantasized about punching an animal...LOL...Kidding PETA...Kidding...


.FIN

Mr. Turner - FUCK THE GOTDAMN SHIT...

.FIN

McDonald's: Blantant Racist Stereotypes...

Wow!...I can honestly say McDonald's has crossed the line here...For me, it all started with the "Green is the new black" commercials...Use your imagination, but I take it as McDonald's found out that they could make their money off of the Negroes by marketing themselves with that particular demographic in mind...I managed to suppress the hatred for said marketing long enough to forget about it and order myself a Filet-o-Fish (Extra, extra cheese)...THEN they came out with 365black...Yes, they went too far, but I see what they were going for...Honestly, I'm pretty sure droves of black folk didn't run out and buy McDonald's after that campaign; but meh, they tried...So now comes this monstrosity of a racist debacle...See for yourself...And, if you dig it, go buy an extra value meal - and be ashamed of yourself...

Yes, I may be a little sensitive here, but I've had enough...
.FIN

Dancin' Kim: How to do the Cabbage Patch...

Is she for real??...As if the dance itself wasn't ridiculous enough...

"We're doing this AWESOME dance that's totally RAD!!" - Dancin' Kim
"Now let's do the cabbage patch with my rad dancin' friends!!" - Dancin' Kim
"Put your shoulders into it to really get some cabbage patch action going!!" - Dancin' Kim
.FIN

Epic Name Failure: Le - a

I was both perplexed and perturbed when I read through this and the true pronunciation and justification of such was explained...You'll see what I mean...

How would you pronounce this as a child's name?...Leah?...No...Lee - A?...No Sir, guess again...Lay - a?...Nope, not even close...Lei?...Guess Again...Are you resorting to tongue clicks yet??...It's pronounced "LeDASHa"...Oh yes, you read it right...The 'dash' is NOT silent...This is the name of a real child who lives in Livingston Parish, Louisiana...Le - a's (haha!) mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong...When the mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said "the dash don't be silent."

If you ever see this again, for the sake of Le - a (I can't hold back my laughter at the sight of this name) and her creatively ignorant mother, please don't forget to pronounce the 'dash'...
.FIN

My Hands hold hindered thoughts of misery...

New piece I wrote today...I'm a wee bit emo...Meh...

I've been holding my hands tight, clutching to the very essence of that which is myself...A semi-automatic muse of meandering souls seeking some sort of solitude through making a miser of me...And I am miserably traveling through the burroughs and bodegas of my own city of lost love and yet cannot seem to find the restitution of my heartache on any corner...No solitary solidified rush of contentment...Only recluse renditions of rotten refuge...Nothing...Just a sullen girl...Seething in sorrow and writhing in pain as she holds her own hands to try to hinder thoughts of truncation...

*Geez, that's effing depressing now innit?...Must be the rain...*

.FIN

Smorgan aka Adams Morgan

Wow...'Epic' is probably the best way to describe Saturday night in Adams Morgan/Dupont for my cousin James and I...I took a chance by stepping out in the place that most reminds me of 'Perfection' and I'm kind of glad I did...Anyway, Here's some fotos...Keep in mind, we were HELLA drunk so these aren't epically artistic or anything...Just good clean fun...Shout out to Wyck and everyone at the rooftop party!...
Delectable Madame's Organ Food...

This is the culprit that lead to an 'interesting' evening...

Bikes are apparently my 'thing'...This guy was cool...Ironically named Brian...

Yes, it's THAT intense...James loves his beer...

Things start to get fuzzy right about...NOW...

Ok random Aussie guy...We get it already...James, what the eff are you doing?...

Apparently I was unamused, bothered or too drunk for emotional expression...

Hmmm...A familiar look...

Oh wait, nevermind...I got my swag back!...

Wyck...The maker of all epically random fun...

.FIN

New Subtitle...AND a new piece of poetry...

Man, I've been doing A LOT of over-analyzation lately and this blog and the direction of it has come up in that process...So BeautiFoul™, to me, symbolizes a vast contradiction which is what I, myself, can be at times...Particularly as I heal my broken heart, I've become even more of a personification of this terminology - A sweet girl turned sour, or what have you...At my surface and even in my very core of being I am the nicest, most considerate person you've ever met...But, layered in between that is a rotten, angry, bitter, depressing, inconsiderate, self-centered bitch of a woman...In other words, I'm BeautiFoul™ moreso than I EVER was...And perhaps that's a good thing...Perhaps it will help this blog be more relevant and contain more substance...We shall see in the weeks to come...And so the subtitle goes:

"Looks can be deceiving...DO NOT attempt to feed the animal..."

I looked into the mirror today and saw a mirror image of how rotten I had become
Tainted and tempted to try being more tactile and less tumultuous
I peered at my reflection again and realized
I am at my most beautiful right now
Chewing on bullets and holding my tongue
Hefty and hearty with heartache and heartlessly emotionally inept
Imagining I've some control over my contriving conscious
Smelling of my rancid mentality
And covering the stench with the perfume of my lingering desire for he who is
Perfection...

.FIN

Won't you be my neighbor?...Retard...

Damnit!...I really thought I was special...*Side note: Mr. Rogers was fly as hell!*

Here's something about Mr. Rogers you may NOT have known...Mr. Rogers was a BBoy...A rather awkward one, but hey...A for effort...Retard...

.FIN

I promise you this one thing...

I'm gonna get out of this emo junk and post more relevent and exciting material soon - very soon - actually I'm going to stop posting for a couple of days so I can get it together...I'm just an emotional wreck right now...I'll push through...Soon...Damnit...

.FIN

What the Duece??...Baracktimus Prime??...

This is really reaching, I'd say...Terribly so...

.FIN

$2,500 shot of cognac anyone???...

Bananas is all I can say...I mean, I really thought I was ballin' when someone bought me a REGULAR bottle of Louis XIII for my birthday a few years back when I was saditty and all...Seriously, you should have seen me...You couldn't tell me SHIT...But this right here gives anyone who can afford to buy a $2,500 shot, let alone an $80,000 bottle, full permission to act like a total pretentious bastard ass asshole of America for at LEAST a two year time period...Remy Martin only produced 358 bottles of this Louis XIII Black Pearl Magnum cognac and rumor has it that the only club in NYC that carries it, Rose Club at the Plaza Hotel, hasn't even sold a shot of it since it arrived in June...Come on Diddy, they're counting on YOU...

.FIN

Apparently Candyland™ inspires creativity this nigh...

Sugarplum fairies spread sugarcane fantasies so sweet I've gotten a toothache even the tooth fairy doesn't have enough money for...And the Candyland™ scenario of perfection less perfunctory than functioning perfectly in scenarios more monotonously morose than melodious perfection have jaded me in the jade-green of the landscapes Candyland™ holds in its' own jealous jurisdiction...It's this same jealously that lends itself to my desire to be the strawberry shortcake with a strawberry milkshake that brings him to the yard of my strawberry fields yielding fieldy shortcomings blooming with strawberry scented kisses...Where Milk Maidens and Eros meet for selfishly salubrious secret encounters...
.FIN

Epic geography fail...

Man oh man...I am a BIG fan of epic failure moments...They make me laugh...I like laughing...For all those who love to laugh too, I present...The daily epic failure...

.FIN

Fuck what yo momma say, Imma vote Obama way...

We hood/We votin'/And throwin it up...

Yessssssss!!..I love the SHIT outta this song (call me crazy if you wanna)...So much so, I posted the vid on my MySpace page...Anyway, the guy who made it, designer Taz Arnold and his brand Tisa Vision have created the "Obama For President" collection...Modeled after the internet explosion song and video by TI$A entitled "Vote Obama", the extremely limited edition collection consists of three pieces manufactured in Japan by Phenomenon...The release date hasn't been let loose yet, but it'll be available at select stores and through the Tisa website...Yes, they look a little silly - well A LOT...But meh...It's the principal...Fuck what yo momma say!

.FIN

If only it were true...

Damn...I WISH

.FIN

I've been in hiding...

Busy as hell and I've let the blog get whacktastic....Booooooo Aja...My bad dunnies...Imma be back and in full effect soon...Promise...Here's a little excerpt from ye 'ole book in the meantime...

August 20, 2007 - Monday
...Basically, just buy the fucking T-Shirt, my dudey...

Current mood: artistic
Category: Life

I fucking LOVE T-Shirts (being a t-shirt diva and entrepreneur and shit...BUY MY T-SHIRTS!!!!...AND Damon's T-shirts...AND Darren Harper X FatBoyD 'King of Pop' t-shirts...damnit...buy them bitches...and contact me for how)...But I find it rather strange how many fucking T-Shirts I've been receiving lately...I mean, there's seriously an influx of t-shirt donations in my direction...and I proudly rock them all to support the talents of those I love and believe in...As I was sitting here organizing them all; my crazy ass mind started thinking about the phrase: "Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt"...Why?...I don't know, you know my mind is random and unpredictable...and...well...unfathomable and indistinguishable all at the same damn time...Since I'm on some spoken word shit lately, I prepared another piece with a spin on this same saying but related directly to love (Cuz that's what I do muthafuckas...that's how the fuck I roll...why did a bitch get all worked up just then?...lemme get it together...whew!)...ROCK!!

I've been sweating pain, bullets and tears of this nonporous love shit
And all I got was this fucking t-shirt
Grinding down my own integrity to gain some integration with you
Becoming a revolving door of reciprocated disrespect with a revolver to my head
Dreaming dreams definitely definitively deferred
Sidelining and sideways, siding slightly with singular silly shit
And I'm still standing here in front of you, naked and waiting
And breathing in the aroma of your arousal
Mistaking this temporary truncation of sexual frustration
As love, and loving looking at us in the mirror of my mind
Beautiful and perfect, yet murderous and melancholy
And this shit right here is my solitude
All I know of sanity
Naked and vulnerable
Staring in the glass eye of feigned love
Holding a revolver to my head
And screaming "Fuck you!"Fuck me!Fuck!
And all I got was this fucking t-shirt
.FIN

Damn!!...AJA get's SMACKED!!...

Yeah man, this was another fun one...Shout out to the homie Dizzy over in Africa...Peep Retro-Boss's 'friend' at the end wildin' out...I'm nominating her for an Oscar...

"Yo lemme get annuva one" - DMVernon
.FIN