Rebirth Issue #3: The fuck is this isht???...

Ladies and Gents, Scallywags and Geezers...I present to you the 'Loop-In'...The world's 1,695,350,253,972 example that people have waaaay too much fucking time on their hands and rich people are suckers...Apparently this genius apparatus gives people the continuous sensation of surfing SLASH skating on, get this, THE PAVEMENT....WOO HOO!!...Sidewalk surfing FTW!!...I'm kidding of course, since I love surfing and seriously doubt any sidewalk in the world will compare to ripping a wave...Sayin...But hey, to each his own...This contraption is merely a concept for now...And I hope it stays that way...Grab a longboard and get to it!

.FIN

Aja x Washington Post Express: Funny...

SO I'm at the Clipse Playcloths Event a wee bit tipsy and such...There's cameras everywhere and oddly everybody wants a flick (I think it was the company I was keeping - Carolyn is gorgeous!)...Next thing I think, there's a reporter from the Washington Post asking me to answer a question...I gave my best, honest, spontaneous answer...Like to hear it, here it go...

Question: Which star should have a clothing line?

"Colin Munroe. He's such an intellectual, different individual"

I dunno, I was half drunk and had to answer on the fly - at least we had the smiles right...In all honesty though, I really really dig Colin's style and would love to see what he could conjure up for a clothing line...I'm sure he could pull it off...
.FIN

Butt-On: Come on baby light my fire...

Here's a great night light concept by Ashish Chaudhary for all you ass-obsessers out there...Dubbed the 'Butt-On', this aesthetically pleasing version of a night light also provides tactile pleasure with it's soft, silicone materials...Pinch on, pinch off, the Butt-On (*pinch-pinch*)...No worries, you won't get slapped in the face for it...

.FIN

Epic Name Failure: Le - a

I was both perplexed and perturbed when I read through this and the true pronunciation and justification of such was explained...You'll see what I mean...

How would you pronounce this as a child's name?...Leah?...No...Lee - A?...No Sir, guess again...Lay - a?...Nope, not even close...Lei?...Guess Again...Are you resorting to tongue clicks yet??...It's pronounced "LeDASHa"...Oh yes, you read it right...The 'dash' is NOT silent...This is the name of a real child who lives in Livingston Parish, Louisiana...Le - a's (haha!) mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong...When the mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said "the dash don't be silent."

If you ever see this again, for the sake of Le - a (I can't hold back my laughter at the sight of this name) and her creatively ignorant mother, please don't forget to pronounce the 'dash'...
.FIN

Epic Failure: DVD REWINDER...

There's not much to say here...Hopefully you're smart enough to catch the utter uselessness of said product...Man, I really need to rewind this DVD...Yo!...Lemme hold your Rewinder ma dudey...

.FIN

[Insert Caption Here]...

I can't decide whether this is utter ridiculousness (Yes, I ALWAYS add 'ness' on the end of words to create ghastly improper English emphases - although 'ridiculousness' is an actual word) or if it's pure innovation...You be the judge...

.FIN

Paris: Solar Triangulation...

I'm simply amazed by architecture in general, particularly older architecture...Lately I've been keeping tabs on modern architectural innovations and stumbled across this beauty...Dubbed 'Le Project Triangle' ('The Triangle Project' - duh), this seemingly massive triangle is said to cast no shadows on buildings around it and allow for maximum amounts of solar and wind power to be generated...

Surprisingly though, the size of the building is an optical illusion and actually resembles a shark fin...

Look for this building to be built by 2014 in the Porte de Versailles area of Paris, France...

.FIN

What the Duece??...Baracktimus Prime??...

This is really reaching, I'd say...Terribly so...

.FIN

Innovation from the past...

Seems like this silly looking thing might have gotten in the way of fighting the actual fire, but I see what they were trying to accomplish here...I guess...Supposedly this 'Sprinkler Suit' was used by German firefighters in the early 1930's to prevent them from being engulfed in flames...Boy am I glad the future yielded better fire retardant mechanisms...

.FIN

$2,500 shot of cognac anyone???...

Bananas is all I can say...I mean, I really thought I was ballin' when someone bought me a REGULAR bottle of Louis XIII for my birthday a few years back when I was saditty and all...Seriously, you should have seen me...You couldn't tell me SHIT...But this right here gives anyone who can afford to buy a $2,500 shot, let alone an $80,000 bottle, full permission to act like a total pretentious bastard ass asshole of America for at LEAST a two year time period...Remy Martin only produced 358 bottles of this Louis XIII Black Pearl Magnum cognac and rumor has it that the only club in NYC that carries it, Rose Club at the Plaza Hotel, hasn't even sold a shot of it since it arrived in June...Come on Diddy, they're counting on YOU...

.FIN

Evidence: I'm NOT hot...

Told ya...
.FIN

Apparently Candyland™ inspires creativity this nigh...

Sugarplum fairies spread sugarcane fantasies so sweet I've gotten a toothache even the tooth fairy doesn't have enough money for...And the Candyland™ scenario of perfection less perfunctory than functioning perfectly in scenarios more monotonously morose than melodious perfection have jaded me in the jade-green of the landscapes Candyland™ holds in its' own jealous jurisdiction...It's this same jealously that lends itself to my desire to be the strawberry shortcake with a strawberry milkshake that brings him to the yard of my strawberry fields yielding fieldy shortcomings blooming with strawberry scented kisses...Where Milk Maidens and Eros meet for selfishly salubrious secret encounters...
.FIN

Aja x Nokia

Experience me in all of my dorky, way-too-fucking-geeked-about-doing-this-shit video from back in my days of working at the Nokia Experience Center in Arlington, VA...Sorry ya'll it's just a link...You can go inside and click 'Stop' then 'Replay' on the Virtual Guide tab until you get to me...As far as the Intro goes, just refresh it a couple of times to get to my smiling ass...LOL...Enjoy!

http://www.nokiausa.com/A4411002

.FIN

Epic Failure: Semantics

I HAD to add this next one as an added bonus for the day...
THE BEST...So they say...Gentlemen, start your engines...

.FIN

Epic geography fail...

Man oh man...I am a BIG fan of epic failure moments...They make me laugh...I like laughing...For all those who love to laugh too, I present...The daily epic failure...

.FIN

Fuck what yo momma say, Imma vote Obama way...

We hood/We votin'/And throwin it up...

Yessssssss!!..I love the SHIT outta this song (call me crazy if you wanna)...So much so, I posted the vid on my MySpace page...Anyway, the guy who made it, designer Taz Arnold and his brand Tisa Vision have created the "Obama For President" collection...Modeled after the internet explosion song and video by TI$A entitled "Vote Obama", the extremely limited edition collection consists of three pieces manufactured in Japan by Phenomenon...The release date hasn't been let loose yet, but it'll be available at select stores and through the Tisa website...Yes, they look a little silly - well A LOT...But meh...It's the principal...Fuck what yo momma say!

.FIN

If only it were true...

Damn...I WISH

.FIN

I've been in hiding...

Busy as hell and I've let the blog get whacktastic....Booooooo Aja...My bad dunnies...Imma be back and in full effect soon...Promise...Here's a little excerpt from ye 'ole book in the meantime...

August 20, 2007 - Monday
...Basically, just buy the fucking T-Shirt, my dudey...

Current mood: artistic
Category: Life

I fucking LOVE T-Shirts (being a t-shirt diva and entrepreneur and shit...BUY MY T-SHIRTS!!!!...AND Damon's T-shirts...AND Darren Harper X FatBoyD 'King of Pop' t-shirts...damnit...buy them bitches...and contact me for how)...But I find it rather strange how many fucking T-Shirts I've been receiving lately...I mean, there's seriously an influx of t-shirt donations in my direction...and I proudly rock them all to support the talents of those I love and believe in...As I was sitting here organizing them all; my crazy ass mind started thinking about the phrase: "Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt"...Why?...I don't know, you know my mind is random and unpredictable...and...well...unfathomable and indistinguishable all at the same damn time...Since I'm on some spoken word shit lately, I prepared another piece with a spin on this same saying but related directly to love (Cuz that's what I do muthafuckas...that's how the fuck I roll...why did a bitch get all worked up just then?...lemme get it together...whew!)...ROCK!!

I've been sweating pain, bullets and tears of this nonporous love shit
And all I got was this fucking t-shirt
Grinding down my own integrity to gain some integration with you
Becoming a revolving door of reciprocated disrespect with a revolver to my head
Dreaming dreams definitely definitively deferred
Sidelining and sideways, siding slightly with singular silly shit
And I'm still standing here in front of you, naked and waiting
And breathing in the aroma of your arousal
Mistaking this temporary truncation of sexual frustration
As love, and loving looking at us in the mirror of my mind
Beautiful and perfect, yet murderous and melancholy
And this shit right here is my solitude
All I know of sanity
Naked and vulnerable
Staring in the glass eye of feigned love
Holding a revolver to my head
And screaming "Fuck you!"Fuck me!Fuck!
And all I got was this fucking t-shirt
.FIN

Damn!!...AJA get's SMACKED!!...

Yeah man, this was another fun one...Shout out to the homie Dizzy over in Africa...Peep Retro-Boss's 'friend' at the end wildin' out...I'm nominating her for an Oscar...

"Yo lemme get annuva one" - DMVernon
.FIN

Sassed...