BeautiFoul ©: Epic

Showing posts with label Epic_Fail. Show all posts

7.24.2009

Rebirth Issue #3: The fuck is this isht???...

Ladies and Gents, Scallywags and Geezers...I present to you the 'Loop-In'...The world's 1,695,350,253,972 example that people have waaaay too much fucking time on their hands and rich people are suckers...Apparently this genius apparatus gives people the continuous sensation of surfing SLASH skating on, get this, THE PAVEMENT....WOO HOO!!...Sidewalk surfing FTW!!...I'm kidding of course, since I love surfing and seriously doubt any sidewalk in the world will compare to ripping a wave...Sayin...But hey, to each his own...This contraption is merely a concept for now...And I hope it stays that way...Grab a longboard and get to it!

.FIN

2.26.2009

Epic Failure: Basic Reading...

A reminder to stay in school...errr wait...

.FIN

12.16.2008

Mr. Turner - FUCK THE GOTDAMN SHIT...

.FIN

11.19.2008

McDonald's: Blantant Racist Stereotypes...

Wow!...I can honestly say McDonald's has crossed the line here...For me, it all started with the "Green is the new black" commercials...Use your imagination, but I take it as McDonald's found out that they could make their money off of the Negroes by marketing themselves with that particular demographic in mind...I managed to suppress the hatred for said marketing long enough to forget about it and order myself a Filet-o-Fish (Extra, extra cheese)...THEN they came out with 365black...Yes, they went too far, but I see what they were going for...Honestly, I'm pretty sure droves of black folk didn't run out and buy McDonald's after that campaign; but meh, they tried...So now comes this monstrosity of a racist debacle...See for yourself...And, if you dig it, go buy an extra value meal - and be ashamed of yourself...

Yes, I may be a little sensitive here, but I've had enough...
.FIN

10.31.2008

Epic Failure: News Headline

Uh oh, gay (or extreme cougar) pedaphiles, they're already naked and waitin' baby!!...You sick bastard...
.FIN

Literary Brain Fart: Shit

I'm supposed to be entering a poetry contest for the Baltimore City Paper today...My ex - *sigh* - suggested it, and I thought I might fancy the idea...Unfortunately, I'm stuck...Can't find the right words to write new material, and suddenly hating all my latest material...I've nothing in my mind....Nothing but...

My mental is clouded with mucous filled nothingness

And I'm wet from the sticky green boringness its' bored into my soul

I'm trying to trust myself enough to trust my voided mind

But running in the wrong direction...

.FIN

10.16.2008

Epic Name Failure: Le - a

I was both perplexed and perturbed when I read through this and the true pronunciation and justification of such was explained...You'll see what I mean...

How would you pronounce this as a child's name?...Leah?...No...Lee - A?...No Sir, guess again...Lay - a?...Nope, not even close...Lei?...Guess Again...Are you resorting to tongue clicks yet??...It's pronounced "LeDASHa"...Oh yes, you read it right...The 'dash' is NOT silent...This is the name of a real child who lives in Livingston Parish, Louisiana...Le - a's (haha!) mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong...When the mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said "the dash don't be silent."

If you ever see this again, for the sake of Le - a (I can't hold back my laughter at the sight of this name) and her creatively ignorant mother, please don't forget to pronounce the 'dash'...
.FIN

10.12.2008

Epic Failure: DVD REWINDER...

There's not much to say here...Hopefully you're smart enough to catch the utter uselessness of said product...Man, I really need to rewind this DVD...Yo!...Lemme hold your Rewinder ma dudey...

.FIN

9.12.2008

Epic Failure: Chair Design...

Human touch you say?...Ummm Hmmmm, I bet!!...That's the type of human touch I like!!...Oh wait, let me shut up...So yeah, the chair design was ummmm....Interesting...I'd say the designer likes GIANT dildos...Or penises...Take your pick...

.FIN

Won't you be my neighbor?...Retard...

Damnit!...I really thought I was special...*Side note: Mr. Rogers was fly as hell!*

Here's something about Mr. Rogers you may NOT have known...Mr. Rogers was a BBoy...A rather awkward one, but hey...A for effort...Retard...

.FIN

9.10.2008

I promise you this one thing...

I'm gonna get out of this emo junk and post more relevent and exciting material soon - very soon - actually I'm going to stop posting for a couple of days so I can get it together...I'm just an emotional wreck right now...I'll push through...Soon...Damnit...

.FIN

9.05.2008

What the Duece??...Baracktimus Prime??...

This is really reaching, I'd say...Terribly so...

.FIN

9.03.2008

Innovation from the past...

Seems like this silly looking thing might have gotten in the way of fighting the actual fire, but I see what they were trying to accomplish here...I guess...Supposedly this 'Sprinkler Suit' was used by German firefighters in the early 1930's to prevent them from being engulfed in flames...Boy am I glad the future yielded better fire retardant mechanisms...

.FIN